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Time Capsule from Benjamin Teskey submitted on 06/02/2016 Print E-mail
Monday, 25 July 2016 00:00

The following Time Capsule has been submitted by Benjamin Teskey on 06/02/2016.

Personal Information
Name Benjamin Teskey
Submission Date 06/02/2016
Time Capsule Date 25/07/2016
Sex Male

The main message is:

"If you are reading this, then Hillary Clinton has officially declared herself the democratic nominee at the Democratic National Convention on July 25th, 2016. At the time that I am writing this, many of my friends hold high hopes that it is Bernie Sanders who will be the democratic nominee, even though his chances were never good or particularly realistic. Even now, when Bernie has essentially tied Hilary Clinton in Iowa, and is likely to beat Hillary Clinton by double digits in New Hampshire, he is still very, very far behind, and has no real path to taking the nomination. Why? Well, there are several reasons. 1) Endorsements. As it stands right now, Bernie Sanders has had two state representative endorsements. While that may not seem like the worst thing in the world, it does not compare to Hillary Clinton's 12 governors, 39 senators, and 151 state representatives. It would seem that the entire democratic party is siding against Bernie Sanders. With all of their influence, and the strong predictive power of the party decides hypothesis (which is also favoring Marco Rubio considerably right now), it is very difficult to picture a world where Hillary Clinton doesn't become the nominee. 2) Public support for her positions. While the country is certainly in a much better place than it was previously towards accepting the possibility of a democratic socialist president, as it turns out, the favorability of having socialist leaders in office is still quite abysmal. Whereas Bernie is likely to have serious problems picking up more moderately liberal voters, Hillary Clinton on the other hand, with how she has positioned herself on the spectrum, has a lot of potential to sway progressives and moderates alike. 3) Voter demographics. For whatever reason there is a major divide in support between white (which Bernie is winning) and non-white (which Hillary is winning) voters for these candidates, and on the democratic side, non-white voters are in higher numbers. Worse, Bernie is doing little to improve his support among non-white voters, which is going to cause him to suffer a devastating loss in south carolina and likely fall short in most states in this country. 4) Poll numbers. While he is looking all fine and dandy in New Hampshire, a state that is literally right next door to his home state of Vermont, he only has half the poll number support that Hillary Clinton has in Nevada and South Carolina, which come right after New Hampshire, and will likely kill his momentum right before super tuesday. As you can see, even though I am quite confident that Rubio will be the nominee on the republican side, my justification for why I believe Hillary will win on the democratic side is significantly more substantiated. Whereas Rubio's considerable endorsement lead and poll numbers surge will be the basis for how he will slowly, yet surely devour Trump's massive, yet vulnerable base of populist supporters, Hillary Clinton is very clearly and definitively going to nail Bernie's chances in a coffin before super tuesday."

Time Capsule from Benjamin Teskey submitted on 06/02/2016 Print E-mail
Thursday, 21 July 2016 00:00

The following Time Capsule has been submitted by Benjamin Teskey on 06/02/2016.

Personal Information
Name Benjamin Teskey
Submission Date 06/02/2016
Time Capsule Date 21/07/2016
Sex Male

The main message is:

"It is currently 5 days after the Iowa caucuses, the very first state out of 50 to allocate delegates to be counted at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, Ohio, which takes place from July 18th through the 21st. It is during this period that I believe Marco Rubio will proudly and officially declare himself the republican nominee for the 2016 race for President of the United States. Right now, with Donald Trump leading in the polls in the vast majority of states, and nationally, often by very wide margins, there are many people who believe that it is actually he that will have the best chance of winning the nomination. I respectfully disagree, as he has not a single official endorsement from any state representative, senator, or governor, and his favorability rating, taken during the Iowa Caucuses, was at an abysmal 50 percent. While he is certainly likely to win at least a few states, I have very strong reasons to believe that Rubio is going to kick his ass on super tuesday, just like he did to his numbers during the Iowa caucuses."

Time Capsule from r submitted on 20/03/2016 Print E-mail
Wednesday, 20 July 2016 00:00

The following Time Capsule has been submitted by r on 20/03/2016.

Personal Information
Name r
Submission Date 20/03/2016
Time Capsule Date 20/07/2016
Sex Male

The main message is:


Time Capsule from dope fily submitted on 06/05/2016 Print E-mail
Wednesday, 06 July 2016 00:00

The following Time Capsule has been submitted by dope fily on 06/05/2016.

Personal Information
Name dope fily
Submission Date 06/05/2016
Time Capsule Date 06/07/2016
Sex Male

The main message is:


Time Capsule from Laura Cohen submitted on 26/06/2014 Print E-mail
Sunday, 26 June 2016 00:00

The following Time Capsule has been submitted by Laura Cohen on 26/06/2014.

Personal Information
Name Laura Cohen
Submission Date 26/06/2014
Time Capsule Date 26/06/2016
Town West Hartford
Age 19
Sex Female
Height 5 ft 3 and 3/4
Weight 140-142
Current Job Jobless...please tell me you got a job sometime soon after this...
Salary Hah
Hobbies Working out, playing music, listening to music, eating
Favourite Food I usually say pizza, but I just realized I don't eat that much pizza anymore...idk maybe veggie burgers? Especially the Spicy Black Bean morning star mmm
Favourite TV Show/Movie Game of Thrones or Breaking Bad have probably been my favorite. Currently watching Orange is the New Black
Favourite Song Idk but favorite artist right now is probably Gregory Alan Isakov
Favourite Book Haven't found it yet
Favourite Quotations I'm sure I've enjoyed some but can't remember any right now
Idol Nick's parents--they all seem like amazing people and they raised such an amazing son
Vehicle Toyota Corolla...although I haven't been driving it lately since I have no money which means no gas money
Pets Calvin and Louie
Interests It's 12:30 am why am I doing this right now
General Information
Biggest Dream Right now is probably to join the Peace Corps...and travel to all of the states and countries on my list
Biggest Desire To travel the world after college
Biggest Fear To die alone...
Biggest Concern Not being able to get good grades next semester..also not being able to keep up my healthiness
Biggest Secret Can't even write it...but you know it future Laura. Hopefully maybe you've finally told at least one person.
Next Goals My most immediate goal: get a job
What make you what you are
Best Friend Lord Nicholas Paprocki III aka Yorkie aka Prock...aka Nick Paprocki
Biggest Enemy I'd like to say I don't have any enemies...used to be Dan Weinreb but he's not even in my life enough anymore to call him that...
Religious Beliefs Definitely don't have any specific belief but I'm very interested in all religions, especially Hinduism right now
Political Views I like to stay out of politics, but I'd say I'm more liberal
Money in Bank Account Techinically about $105, but it's actually only $5 because that check to BU still hasn't been deposited by them..
Relationship Status Happily taken :)
How you see your future
Number of Children 2 or 3 probably but who knows
Gender of First Child Right now I would love a girl more than a boy but haven't really thought that much about it
Kids Names When I was younger I decided on Jessa and Josh. But definitely going to consider something else. It'll probably be relevant to my life at the time.
Biggest Accomplishment Hopefully getting into the Peace Corps. Maybe graduating from college? With more than a 3.0?? That would be lovely.
Future Job Something in anthropology and/or music. Maybe ethnomusicology. I really don't want to forget about my music. And there is no way I am getting stuck in the US for the rest of my life.
Future RelationshipStatus I hope that at least now I am still with Nick. Definitely not married or anything. Please don't get married until you're like 30 or older. SEE THE WORLD!
Hapiness Meter I definitely don't think I will be the happiest person in the world, but I would like to think that the choices I am making right now are so that I can be the happiest possible in the future.
How you see the world in the future
Future Transportation Probably just a lot more bikes and public transportation. And electric cars.
Future Society Idk in reality everyone will be fatter, but I would like to think that I personally have influenced at least a few people to be healthier. If anything in two years, society will probably just be more technologically dependent.
Future Technology I have a feeling that apple will not be around for much longer. And maybe Facebook too. I really hope Twitter and Instagram have been shut down...Personally, I hope that I am reading more books and watching less TV..but maybe watching more news
Inventions Robots lol idk

The main message is:

"Hello, future Laura. Not sure how this email will be formatted, so you may have already gotten the little "site-made" about me section. Sorry I filled that out; I was lazy. Anyways, I decided to write this tonight specifically for no reason whatsoever except that I was bored and didn't feel like going to bed yet. Today was an average day. At least for this summer. I woke up at about 12pm. Grandma Sondra has been staying here for the last week or so, and she left this morning, so I said goodbye to her and then left for Statistics class at about 12:45. Class went until about 4 today. We had a double quiz, since too many people did poorly on the last one which made our professor delay the next quiz to today, and we had already had one scheduled. I've actually been doing really well, though. I've got about a 95 right now. Anyways, after class, Jake picked me up and then I went home and did some leg workouts, ate dinner, added some songs to my "add to itunes" spotify playlist (will I ever add them all to iTunes? Have I yet?), watched some Orange is the New Black and Lost with Sam, and then went into the kitchen and decided to write this time capsule. I am currently sitting in Jacob's seat. The lights are out in this part of the kitchen, but the lights in the other part are on. Jake is in the family room playing a video game I think. Sam is upstairs, probably sleeping or watching a movie/tv show or listening to music or talking to Tinder boys. Probably a mix of those. Tomorrow morning at 10, I am rehearsing at the Sundes for a wedding gig this Saturday. I'm really excited for it because I haven't played in a while, and I miss my orchdorks. Plus I'm getting paid (hopefully?) which means I'll have money to drive to Philly next Thursday for the 4th. I'm still waiting to hear back from Andrew but hopefully he'll be able to come with me so I won't have to drive alone again. That sucked. But it was totally worth it. So since this is a time capsule, I guess I should like..sum up my life right now. I guess I'll start by recapping what has happened in the last year or so. Last year, at about this time, I don't remember exactly what was going on in my life, but I do know that a lot more of my friends were home. I was also a very different person. I had just finished my first year in college, and it was not a very successful one. First semester blew. I partied way too much, ate way too much and gained about 20 pounds, and didn't focus nearly enough on my studies. The people I was hanging out with sucked (Alex, Bri, Jaeda--well not so much Jaeda). I almost transferred. Also, my parents were really pissed about my grades, so they almost didn't let me go back, but I begged, so they let me. Second semester seemed like it was starting off on a better note. I started to hang out with a girl from my floor, Katya, more, and she ended up becoming one of my best friends, and I felt like I was making friends in other places as well. I was trying harder in my classes, and I was eating better. Then I met Nick. I didn't know him by Nick when I first met him. To me, he was Spotify guy. This random guy that knew my floormate Tory, that I happened to be in the beer line with at a party one night while Spotify was playing (I knew because I heard the Spotify ad music) and I somehow ended up telling him that I knew it was Spotify playing because of the music. I guess we ended up talking about Spotify for a while. Idk, we were both pretty drunk. All I know is that after that I kept running into him everywhere. At parties, on my floor, at Pita. And every time at least one of us was drunk. It was usually him. And because of the drunkness/being horrible at remembering names, neither of us ever remembered each other's names, so I just kept calling him Spotify guy. One day, I remember walking back from Writing class with Jill, back before we were really close, and "Spotify guy" walked by, and I just remember it being one of those awkward moments where you don't know whether to just smile, or wave, or say hi. I remember both of us kindof did a mixture of all three and then kept walking. And I remember Jill asking me about it afterwards, and me telling her the Spotify guy story and realizing I had a major crush on Spotify guy. After that, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I found out he was actually good friends with my Tory, and he was on our floor a good amount, and he was also in some classes with my roommate Alex. I kinda went a little stalker, and found him on Facebook, and the works. (I'm really sorry, I just realized right now that I got a little side-tracked and started telling my Nick story..I should have known this would happen. I don't think I've ever really written it down though, so you're going to have to deal. And read it.) I remember asking Alex what classes she had with him, and when she saw him, and all that. And I remember asking my friend Megan if she would talk to him and ask him if he was interested. It was so middle school. The funny thing is, he had no idea. I finally got my moment one day when Alex texted me that she was eating lunch with him in the dining hall and that I should come join. I was so excited, I probably sprinted out of my room. I remember getting there, and trying to act as normal as possible, as cool as possible, look as good as possible. It's hard right now to imagine having to try that hard in front of him. After lunch, I somehow got his snapchat, and for some reason I went to lecture with all of them and we snapchatted during the lecture. That meant something for sure, right? Later that day, I remember going back to my dorm and talking to Katya about it (she already knew the whole Spotify guy history) and I also told her that he had mentioned that he had a fake and could buy as alcohol. She told me to use that as an excuse to snapchat him and ask him for his number. How I ever got up the courage to do that, I don't know. But he sent me his number over snapchat, and we asked him for liquor, and before we knew it, he was coming over and asking if we wanted to go to a party later that night. It was too good to be true (I thought). We went to the party, had a good time, don't really remember a lot, probably got really drunk. The next day, he must have texted me asking if we wanted to go out again, because we went to another party the next night. At Chi Phi. I distinctly remember this, because this was the night of our first kiss. I remember we were in the basement, and I had brought my own drink, like a part of a four loko or something, and had also taken some shots from the bar (one was grape I think). And there was music playing, and I remember thinking so much how I could get him to know I was into him or find out if he was into me. I think it started when one of us was trying to say something to the other, and we had to get really close and talk in each other's ears to hear each other. All of a sudden we were dancing, and before I knew it we were making out. It may not have physically been the best kiss of my life (I was really drunk, in a dirty frat basement, and he kinda sucked at kissing), but in terms of the build up, it was definitely the best kiss of my life. I just remember feeling so incredibly happy. And also really proud of myself for actually getting the guy. Ok, it's not like we were dating or anything, but I successfully crushed on a guy, and hooked up with him. That doesn't happen often. And honestly, all I expected of that night was maybe a little making out, and then that would have been it. Never would have seen him again, except maybe some awkward encounter in the dining hall. But for some reason (this is part that's a little hazy) we decided we were both really into it, and ended up back at his place. I don't remember if I planned on having sex that night, but it didn't happen. His roommate, Mike, was there, so that would have been a little awkward. I remember making out a little, but then just staying up and talking about our lives. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. It was weird how close I felt with him when I barely knew him. We stayed up until the dining hall opened the next morning, and eventually got up and got brunch together. When we finally parted, it's hard to remember exactly what I was feeling, but it was probably really great. I remember telling Katya everything that happened the second I saw her, and Katya being Katya giving me the best reaction I could have hoped for. Now, let me get back to the reason that I started this story in the first place. Basically, after I met Nick, and after I actually had friends that I liked to go out with, my grades turned to shit again. I went out every day of every weekend. And I got wasted pretty much every single night I went out. I blacked out too many times to remember. During the week, I was sleep deprived from the weekend, and my sleep schedule got so off, that I was going to bed when everyone else was waking up and vice versa. I missed too many classes to count. I was eating horribly because my sleep schedule was off, although I did try a diet or too with Katya. Plus, the times when I was awake enough to actually do work/practice, I couldn't stop thinking about Nick. Yes, Nick became a "fuck buddy" for lack of a better phrase, But he was so much more than that. Not necessarily romantically, but Nick, Katya, and I became very close. They were the people I went out with every weekend, and they were the people I talked about to my friends and family back home. I couldn't stop thinking about Nick for many different reasons. Obviously, I really started to like him. It is very rare for a friends-with-benefits relationship to be platonic, and this case was not an exception. He had some weird confusing history with a girl or two back home, which he claimed made him not ready for a relationship. Who knows if that was bullshit or not. All I know is that it made me damn confused, and it was very hard to continue to hook up knowing that I probably had much stronger feelings than he did. Another part of the problem was the fact that he was very secretive. Yes, I felt close to him in a way, at least a lot closer than I did with other friends at school, but I felt like he was hiding so much from me, and I felt like I was hiding so much from him. Katya and I talked about that all the time, and we frequently got mad at him for it. The end of the semester is where everything kind of changed. I got really drunk one night at Warren and confessed my feelings for him, very emotionally (tears and all), and he confessed that he had feelings for me too, but really wasn't ready for a relationship. This began the weird 3 way relationship between me Nick and Katya. I would tell Katya how I felt about Nick, and she would talk to Nick and try and get things out of him that he wouldn't tell me. I didn't know it at the time, but he felt really left out because of this. Our "tripod" was a lot less healthy than we thought. I remember the turning point, probably because it was such an eventful day. It was Marathon Monday, or the day of the Boston bombings. The tripod had gotten up early to pregame for the marathon, like every college student in Boston had done every year. I was gone by the time we actually reached the marathon. Luckily, I was so drunk, that Nick and Katya had to take me back home. The bombings must have happened about 30 minutes after, in the exact spot we had been watching. Scary shit. Anyways, we went to an after party, and since everyone was so scared and so shocked about what had just happened, we all just got wasted. Nick and I ended up having the worst argument in the history of our friendship (maybe the only one). We someone ended up in the bathroom together, and I think we started making out, but realized we were both really pissed at each other, and starting insulting each other like crazy. I remember telling him that he wasn't a very good kisser, and he told me that my butt wasn't as good as I thought it was. I'm sure there were other insults thrown, but I can't remember them. After the storm calmed a bit, we sat down on these stairs in the back of the house, and probably talked for about 3 hours. Could have been more, I don't really remember. I just remember being very belligerent. I remember him eventually basically lecturing me on how I was living my life, and how I had such potential and blah blah blah. The funny thing is, right now I understand everything that he was saying. But I didn't see it then. We ended up talking for so long that we forgot about Katya, and she got really pissed and left without us, but that's whole other story. After that day, things weren't the same between us. We still hung out and went to parties together, but we had basically made an agreement that we weren't hooking up anymore because it just made things too complicated. Before that day, we had gone to parties together, but looked for other people to hook up with. And that just lead to jealousy and we usually ended up together at the end of the night. That was no longer the case. We finally were civilized, and although I was jealous, I watched him dance with other girls, and flirt with other girls. I told myself that because the semester was almost over, I'd be able to get over him by the end of the summer. The tripod ended the semester well. We all wished each other good summers, and went our separate ways. I thought I had successfully ended the year. Boy, was I wrong. That summer, after being home for about 2 weeks, I got my grades. I had failed 2 classes, got a D in another, and the others weren't that much better. My parents had given me a warning the semester before, and I knew if I hadn't done well that semester I wasn't going back to BU. I begged again, but this time, I knew there was no hope. I really fucked up. I knew that if I ever wanted to go back, I was going to have to bust my butt to win back my parents trust. But this time, I really had to earn it. Not just for the moment. But forever. I haven't yet succeeded. I'm still working on it now. After the whole grade fiasco, I found a job (at Moe's), which helped me keep busy for the summer. I eventually accepted the fact that I wasn't going back to BU, and got my shit together and signed up for classes at Tunxis and Capital community colleges for the Fall. I also switched to a Bio major, because for some reason, that's what I thought I wanted to do. Summer was kindof crazy. I met Charlie and Tommy, Tori's friends. I knew Charlie because we went to Noah's Ark together. Such a small world. Once I was friends with those two, my summer turned into a summer of partying. Not exactly that path to success I was looking for...but I let myself slip a little. I kindof felt like I had hit rock bottom. And hopefully, that was my rock bottom. I don't ever want to be that far gone again. I was drunk and high every other day, occasionally at work. Charlie and I started hooking up, and that seemed like a good thing at the time, but he ended up being an asshole to me, so that sucked. My parents weren't the happiest with me because I was obviously not being responsible, even though I did have a job. Finally, when all of my friends left for school in the fall, although it was sad, I could really try to reach my full potential. And that I did. I worked my ass off in the three classes I was taking, I worked hard at my job, and worked as hard as possible to keep up a good relationship with my parents. I stayed away from those bad influences (Charlie and Tommy) as much as possible, and ended the semester with all As, which was good enough for my parents and I was going back. I met some great people along the way, and learned a lot about myself. One girl who was in two of my classes, Arei, I am still really close with now, and she's even kindof part of the crew. Two girls that I took biology with really got me into exercising, and they definitely were a big part of the reason why I am so health-conscious now. I met some great people at Moe's, who made it very hard to want to leave work every day, and made it easy to want to go to work every day. Many of them came from poor families, and I definitely learned a lot about people from other backgrounds through them. That semester changed me a lot. The funny thing is, I think I changed even more, more recently, but I think without that semester off, I wouldn't have been able to make the decisions that I have made to get to this point. So, after that long Fall semester, I finally made it back to BU. It was the best feeling in the world to be back. The familiar Boston weather and smells felt like home. The campus felt like home. Seeing all of my friends from Freshman year, made me know I made the right choice coming back. A lot had changed, though. Katya never came back, because she didn't get enough financial aid, so she stayed in California. Since I didn't go back either, Nick was forced to branch out and make new friends, so when I got back, he had a whole new friend group. He actually ended up becoming close with Katherine and Rebecca, two of my friends from freshman year, which was kindof funny. I was definitely excited to see everyone, but particularly excited to see him. I had seen Nick once over the summer, when I visited him with my sister. He had a house show at his mom's house, which was great, and I went as a friend. But, we ended up drinking that night, and made out. I stopped it before it turned into anything else though, because I had spent the whole summer trying to get over him. I visited BU once in September and ended up not being able to hold back and fully hooking up with him that night. But that was the last time I had seen him. I assumed things might be a little awkward, but otherwise, I didn't really know what to expect. I remember going out to hookah with Rebecca and Katherine and some of their friends a few nights before classes started, and Nick ended up meeting us there. When I saw him, I wanted to give him the biggest hug in the world. But he played it so cool, and just said hey. And I said hey back. We didn't even hug or anything. I wasn't really sure what to make out of that, but afterwards, he came over, and we talked, and everything went back to normal. Well, at least, us just being friends normal. The beginning of the semester went really well, like it always does. I liked my professors, and I was reconnecting with some goods friends and meeting a lot of new ones. Nick and I were hanging out a lot, and becoming very close friends. I realized a had a lot more in common with him than I ever thought. About half way through the semester, I started doing Blogilates, this online pilates blog that has YouTube videos that you workout along with, and there are calendars that tell you what videos to do when. Since I had gone to college, I had gained about 20 pounds, and I really wanted to do something about that, so I got really into Blogilates, and I started to eat healthy as well. Things were looking really good in all departments. Shortly after, surprise, surprise, Nick and I got drunk one night and hooked up. We did really well for about a month, but there was obvious sexual tension. It didn't become a regular thing, though. We both knew that the friends-with-benefits thing didn't work for us. But every 2 weekends or so, we would get drunk at a party and hook up. We wouldn't talk about it the next day and would just pretend like it never happened. Obviously, I couldn't just let this go, and once again, it consumed my thoughts. I'm not saying this is the only reason that my grades began to slip again, but it definitely was a big one. For this and other reasons, I started to see myself rolling back into my old habits. I was skipping my early classes, and not handing in assignments on time. I made plans to go to club meetings and get lunch with friends, but made excused to not to go to them. This semester, it wasn't getting drunk all the time, but it was getting high. Nick and I were smoking not just on the weekends, but multiple week nights. The sexual tension killed me so much, and I wanted to see him all the time, so even though I had a 10 am the next morning, if he texted me at 2 in the morning asking me if I wanted to smoke and watch Parks and Rec, I always said yes. He was like a drug. There was something different about this semester, though. I don't think I realized it while it was happening, but I realize it now. Even though, I was starting to slip into old habits, other habits were doing much better. I was still actively trying to eat healthily, and I was really sticking to doing Blogilates every day. I had started to see results, which made me want to try even harder. The fact that one aspect of my life was actually going well due to hard work, I think that made me realize that hard work actually does pay off. Even though I did notice that the semester for, when I got all As, I think it really set in for some reason when I started to see the pounds shedding off. Maybe it's because I had gotten As in my life before, but I had never successfully lost weight. I had tried diet after diet and I had probably lost at most 5 pounds, only to gain them back the next week by binge eating. This success, made me not want to give up on everything in my life. Although I wasn't doing as well as I would have hoped in some of my classes, I pushed myself to make sure that I ended the semester as well as I could. I tried to focus on myself as much as possible, and even though I may have not had much of a social life towards the end, it was ultimately worth it. I'm not sure what it was exactly that made Nick finally man up, but he finally realized that he wanted to be with me. This is all kind of a blur because it wasn't just one night, but eventually he told me that he couldn't stop thinking about me and that he wanted to be with me and just me. He asked me out one night (like going steady), and I remember being so shocked and I said yes right away and we had amazing sex afterwards and it was all very magical. But the next day, he acted like he hadn't said anything, and that made me really pissed, and I ended up hooking up some other guy that night, not even knowing if I was cheating or not. We never talked about it after that until about 3 weeks later, when he finally asked me out again. Yeah, I know, this kid is confusing. He finally explained to me how he made a mistake before and how he wasn't then but he was [now]. I didn't tell him yes that night because I didn't want to made for a fool. But I realized the next morning how sincere I knew he was that time, and how sincerely I wanted to be with him and just him. I told him the next day. And that was it. April 13th, 2014. Nick and I were finally together. Nick and I ARE finally together. It still doesn't seem real. The 3 weeks or so after we started dating were the most amazing 3 weeks I can say I have ever experienced. The euphoria and happiness that I felt can't be put into words. I was dating Nick Paprocki. Spotify guy. We were together. Exclusively. I felt like I was dreaming. I still do. The greatest thing about it to me was that I could FINALLY be open with him. That was always our problem. We were so close in so many ways, but we couldn't be completely open with each other. And a lot of it was because of hidden feelings. I could finally tell him whenever I felt like it that he "looked cute today" or that I was so happy to be in his arms. It was things that I had wanted to say for more than I year, and never could. I was unbelievably happy every single time I saw him, and when I wasn't with him I was happy, still, just thinking about him. The fact that I finally could stop worrying about what Nick was thinking took a load off my chest, and it helped me do better in all other aspects of my life as well. My grades were going up, and I got a job coaching cello to a 9-year old kid in Brookline, getting paid $20/hr. I had become extremely close with Jill, surprisingly, and it was nice to have a best girl friend to go to since Katya was no longer there. I ended the semester better than I had ever hoped. Although I knew my Hinduism grade wasn't that great just because I kindof fucked up in the middle of the semester, I had As and Bs, in all of my other classes. I had lost about 20 pounds since December, which made me feel more confident than ever. And again...I WAS DATING NICK. I hadn't told my parents yet, or anyone back home, because I didn't want to jinx it. My parents visited the week before school was over to see a Red Sox game, and I told them then. They were more than thrilled. I eventually told Maura and Katherine over text because I felt they deserved to know. When I got home, everyone was amazed at how much I had changed. Since I've been back, I've gotten a thousand compliments on how good I look. I have now lost 27 pounds since last December. I am about 140 right now, some days a little more. My hair is a little longer than shoulder length and the ends are dip-dyed orangey-pink. I also part my hair down the middle now. Of course I'm not 100% happy with how I look. I probably never will be. But I can look in a mirror now and actually feel good about myself. I haven't been able to do that in a very long time, if ever. I haven't just changed physically, but mentally as well. This last year, my outlook on life has been gradually changing. A year ago, I was certain I wanted to go into biology. Now, I have no idea what I want to do, but I have ideas. I am much more practical and realistic about the future. I know that I need to work hard if I want to be successful, and I have finally realized the potential I have that my parents and teachers and friends have all been talking about since 8th grade. I speak more eloquently, and don't mumble my words. I actually consider the feelings of others, and genuinely ask about my parent's days when they come home. I don't have a job right now, but I am actively looking. For the first time, I'm feeling like I can relate more to my parents than my siblings. I will always feel close with my sister, but I am finally the more mature one, and for now, until she's out of high school probably, I feel much older than her again. I'm not sure exactly the cause of this mental change: how it happened, when it happened, but I'm glad that it has. My parents (and many others) have been telling me to grow up for a very long time, and I never really understood why they telling me that. I felt that I was grown up, that I was mature. But I now realize how immature I really was. I think I huge reason for this change has been Nick. Nick has changed my life in more ways than I can count. Yes, I've had hundreds of crushes over the years, probably more than the average teenage girl. But the way I feel about Nick is different than anything I have ever felt. First of all, I never thought that I would feel closer with anyone than I felt with Katherine, but I found someone that I connect with even more, and that's Nick. He understands what I'm thinking before I even know that I'm thinking it. Although my family is a mess sometimes, my parents love him, and he fits in perfectly. And even more, I am in love with all of his parents. They are such amazing people, and now that I know them, I can completely understand why Nick is how he is. Before I met Nick, I loved music. Music was my passion. I majored in it for a year. But now that I know him, I look at music in a different way. He has helped me analyze music like I never though possible. The way I used to feel listening to music while high, I can feel now while sober. I hear all the different parts of the music, and really care about the artists, and the work it took to make an album. I owe all of this to him. He also has been kind of a life coach to me. It started with that day after the marathon. When he drunkenly told me I was fucking up my life. I took that to heart, and I haven't forgotten it. And he's helped me numerous other times since then. I don't know if I would have been able to survive last semester without him. These are just the things that I feel he has brought to the changes in my character. The things he brings to the present are just as wonderful. The way he carries himself, and the way he laughs, and the way he hugs me, and the way he "umphs" when something tastes good or a song has a great riff. All of these things make him who he is. And all of these things are why I love him. I love him so much it hurts. I miss him the second he leaves, and I don't stop until I see him again. This summer has been so hard already, and it's not even half way over. But I feel no pain. Missing him makes me feel happy. Knowing that it is possible to care this much about someone, that it aches when they are gone is an amazing feeling. I've only thought that I loved someone once before, but I know that I never did. Of course, one can never truly know what love is. It's a feeling. You can't define it. But I can't think of any other word to define how I feel about him. I want to tell him so badly, but it needs to be the right moment. If I thought that I wasn't in this for the long run, then I wouldn't worry too much about it. But I really am in this for the long run. I don't plan on breaking up with Nick anytime soon, if ever. I'm not unrealistic. I'm not expecting that we stay together no matter what after college. But I do know that right now, he is the most important person in my life. I do know that we have another 2 years together that we will be living in the same city. So right now, that's our future. And after that, if it's meant to be, we will stay together, and get married eventually, and all that jazz. I could see it. I can also myself going off on my own and travelling the world. If he's there by my side, that would great. What I know right now, is that out of every person in this world that I know, he gets me the most. Sometimes it's weird how on the same page we are. When you find someone that feels the same exact way about this food, and this artist, and this piece of music, and this animal, and that line in that TV show, you hold on to them. And that's what I'm doing. Yotter and goin nowhere. So it is now 3:14 AM. I haven't stayed up this late in a very long time. I meant to catch you up on my life, and I ended up telling you my long and detailed story with Nick Paprocki. As you can see, he pretty much consumes about 90% of my thoughs. No, like, 95%. So That's why about 95% of this is about him. Whoops. Anyways, last minute catchup: I am now running every other day (oh yeah, Nick got me into that too) and doing blogilates on the off days, so I am still very much into fitness. I really hope by now I've lost those last 7 pounds (and kept them off)? I am trying as hard as possible to limit my sugar and sodium especially, because those give me cravings. There may be more that's going on in my life, but my brain is kind of fried right now, so I'm going to have to finish this up. So lastly, here are my specific goals for 2 years from now (which should be when you are reading this): I have graduated with at least a 3.0 GPA I have been to at least one other country outside of the US (or am planning on it in the next few months) I have actually stuck with my Anthropology and Religon major for the last 2 years... I earned enough credits to get my music minor I have become very close to fluent in French I joined at least 2 clubs in the last 2 years and stuck with them Nick and I are still together Katherine and I are still friends I have gotten down to 133 pounds My psoriasis has somehow miraculously been cured (this is very far fetched I know) I have had an actual Spring Break I have learned how to make at least one successful complicated dinner meal (I know this is kind of vague) I have read a good chunk of books on my to-read list I have added all of my "add to itunes" songs from spotify to itunes (I know this far fetched too) Well, that's all I can think of right now. I'm sure I have other goals, but those or probably the main ones. I hope that you are happy right now, even if you haven't completed a good chunk of the goals listed above. I hope that your relationship with mom is good, and that Nick doesn't completely hate her anymore. I hope that Sam and Jake got into good colleges and had successful Freshman years. Tell Mom and Dad that you were really pissed at them when you were writing this because they wouldn't stop asking you about getting a job. Tell Sam and Jake that you love them so much. I hope Jake has at least grown out of his shell a little and is more a part of the family. I have hope for him now because I used to be a lot like him, and I have changed. Anyways, I'm gonna go to bed, so I can not sound horrible on the cello tomorrow. I might decide that I want to write more, so you might get another one of these today or in a few days or something. Idk. I wish you the best future Laura. You're awesome. Don't be scared because you've graduated from college right now. This is just the beginning. Go out and live the life that you haven't been able to live because you've been studying your ass off. You now have a college degree (hopefully). That's fucking awesome. You've already accomplished more than a lot of people in this world. Go do something good with it. It doesn't matter if you're making a lot of money. As long as you're happy and you're making a difference in the world, no matter how small. K I'm done being cheesy. Later, Loco (btw your name is Loco Coco on facebook right now. I really hope you've changed it...)"

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